U I was perusing some of the news websites this afternoon seeking something to talk about here, when I came across the following headline: Human Evolution Seems to Be Accelerating
Then right below that headline, was this one: Man Spends Four Days Trapped in a Bathroom
I have to question the validity of the first headline …..
U I was over at Jody's site today – http://www.iowageekonline.com/ – and she had a post about Christmas Letters. GOD how I hate Christmas letters. It’s amazing how wonderful some people's lives are, and yet the DUI arrest rarely makes the letter. Speaking of Christmas letters, I received the following one from my mom today:
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married:
Merry Christmas to you and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering that I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?
Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending any more money because I know you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year. Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.
Merry Christmas.
Love, Mom
Should I be worried?
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2 comments:
OH OH! Bob, from one who has been down this road before... Well, I'm praying for you my friend. I don't know what it is but these women we write about from time to time, who normally have a fantastic sense of humor, well... I'm praying for you my friend.
It was damn funny though!
LMAO!! EXACTLY! I cringe when I get those letters. I just don't care about your hip surgery- especially if you had it in February and are JUST NOW telling me about it.
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